Memory loss

So I'm going to reveal a problem that I've become increasingly worried about. My memory loss. Or rather I am having problems recalling words and their meanings. As an aspiring writer this is a great concern. Gosh I read very formal don't I? I don't know why I think formality constitues good writing. I have always felt trapped in my mind. Like I'm unable to access or connect to my mind in some way. It scares me. I read other people's work and see how their words flow and how much detail they can describe and I feel inadequate and frustrated. I'm not reaching my full potential and the really scary thing is that I never will. I'll always be trapped inside this inadequate mind. I could have my legs or arms amputated and not feel so (now i'm struggling to find a word that is not 'inadequate').....this is what I mean. I can't find the right word. I could have my arms and legs amputated and not feel as inadequate....as.....as.....so little of myself.....so a part....a part.....I can't find the right word. Damn. This is so fucking frustrating. I'm thinking I should go to a doctor, though I know they can't do anything to help me. I can't argue with people anymore because I can't find the right words under pressure. I've lost my wit. So when I argue I become angry and frustrated and I resort to swearing at people instead of arguing my point coherently. Although not to over emphasis my problem, I do often swear anyway. It's just me. My writing is suffering because of this. It becomes a painfully slow process and I struggle to bring my stories up to the standard I expect. Maybe I'm not as bright as I want to be.